I could have told you, Vincent;

. . . this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Yes, Avan and Jensen's turtle has passed away. We noticed he was sick on Thursday with slimy eyes and shell, and by Friday there were little, white worms in his aquarium. How do I know what to do for a sick turtle?! On Saturday morning I thought I'd make sure he was eating; so I picked him up to bring him to his food, and knew immediately he was dead. I think I might be a bad Mom: my first thought was, "Gross, I've handled a dead turtle!" It was only after that that I realized Jensen would be crushed.

She was. I tried to break it to her gently, without making a big deal out of it. At first she seemed only somewhat disappointed, I think because her mind was on something else. But later, when we decided to bury him in a small box, she lost it. She cried and cried and bawled and bawled. She asked for some alone time with him by his grave to say good-bye, and we could hear her from yards away trying to hold back her sobs. For twenty minutes or so she grieved over how much she loved him and would miss him, saying things like, "I've never been this sad," and "This is the saddest day of my life." I could barely handle it.

We buried Vincent, and Daddy said a few words and a prayer. Jensen made a red X on paper and cut it out to mark the grave. She continued to sob uncontrollably, and seemed ashamed of it. I told her that it was absolutely OK to feel this way, and that she wouldn't feel this sad forever. I think that made her feel like it was OK to cry, because then she didn't even try to hold back, and she let it all go. Thankfully, Cooper was oblivious. I couldn't have taken two grieving children.

Resting Place

Fortunately, Tom had planned a nature walk with the kids. Right after the funeral he took them to Firestone Park here in Akron and they walked the trails and marveled at nature. They made a little fire and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, and had a great time. Jensen was feeling MUCH better by the time she got home, saying that it was "one of the best days ever, EVER!" I was so relieved.

Nature Walk, October 1, 2005

Caterpillar!

The next day we were telling Avan about our weekend, and Jensen told her that she thought Vincent had died because Jensen took him on a field trip to school for Green day. Of course that broke all of our hearts, and thankfully we were able to convince her that wasn't the reason. Later she told us that she still missed him, but she wasn't as sad as she had been the day before. A lesson in grief.

I just hope PETA doesn't catch wind of this.

Caricature of the Month

I'm posting this sketch of Don's as a tribute to Avan's new pet turtle, who stays at our house, which she named Vincent VanGogh after her favorite artist.
(Order prints or t-shirts from www.caricaturesbydon.com in time for Christmas!)

Our Little Student

Well, it's official. Jensen's a Big Girl. She started Kindergarten on the 25th of August. We went to her orientation the day before and found out where her bus stop is, and what time she'd be picked up and dropped off. She had been a little apprehensive about taking the bus; so I offered to drive her on the first day, but she said no. She was very excited, and I was very proud of her.

Everyone asks if I cried watching her go. I did cry, but only because I could see how very happy and excited she was, and so I was for her. I didn't cry because "my baby had grown up" or anything. We are crazy about Jensen, but there's no question about whether or not she belongs at school right now.

Jensen with backpack and bus tag

So far she loves it. I think she likes the bus more than school, but she likes school as well, and says her teacher, Ms. Knickerbocker (really) is a great teacher. She says she has trouble "being good," and has to put her head on the desk sometimes, but she tries hard and prays every day for help with concetrating and behaving at school. One morning she told her teacher that she was going to try extra hard that day, and Ms. Knickerbocker said something like, "Oh, it's OK. It just takes practice." So I'm sure many of the new kindergarteners are going through the same thing.

Cooper and I are enjoying our mornings together, and he loves going to pick her up at the bus stop. He rides his bike down, and I walk Jensen's bike so that they can ride back together. I'm hoping the weather cooperates with us as long as possible.

Meanwhile, we're doing Phonics lessons at home four or five times a week, and the kids are learning to read. Jensen's already pretty good at reading many words, and will soon move on to books for beginner readers. Cooper is starting to read as well, and is able to read as well as spell several three-letter words. Funny. He can read but he can't use the toilet. Go figure.

Hens & Chickens

Most people know that I'm not a gardener. In fact, it's all I can do to keep my children alive in my house, let alone plants. I'm the Charlie Brown of gardening. Tom gave me a cactus for Mother's Day once, since we'd heard that's the one plant you can't kill. Mine lived for three days. No kidding. The only things that grow around here are mold and potato eyes. . . and with no help from me.

But the other day, as Cooper and I were waiting for Jensen at the bus stop down the street, my neighbor approached me and asked me if I wanted some free hens and chickens. At first I thought she was crazy, but when she showed me a few boxes full of uprooted plants, I realized she was referring to them. Before I could explain that they'd be wasted on me, she explained that they grow like wildfire and were overrunning her yard. She implored me with her tone as she held the somewhat heavy boxes toward me and said I'd be doing her a big favor. Of course I took them, wondering the whole time where I'd be able to pawn them off. She told me how to plant them, and said they'd even grow where nothing else would. Yeah, we'll see.

I don't know what made me do it, but Jensen and I began transplanting them almost as soon as we got home, around this little garden in the middle of our yard. (It was there before we moved in, of course.) I worked on them on and off for the rest of the day, and was finally finished just before dark. They look cute, I guess, but I still have my doubts as to whether or not they'll grow or even survive for very long.

Luckily for all of you, I took pictures!




I still don't know why they're called hens and chickens. They look like neither to me, nor like any other farm animal I can think of. Anyone else have any idea? (See comment -- thanks, Sheila!)

Introducing the Amazing Jensen!

Jensen does magic tricks. Actually, she doesn't really think she's magic. To her, magic is when you make something REALLY disappear, not just appear to disappear. Her art, in her mind, is in making you wonder how she made something appear to disappear. She's really something. Unfortunately for most of you, you have to see it to appreciate it. Some of you have had the privilege of witnessing her "magic" for yourselves. For the rest of you, I thought I'd try to describe it, add a picture, and see if you can create the full image in your imaginations.

This is a picture of the Amazing Jensen doing her very first trick. She puts a small item--for example a Hot Wheels car--on the stool, places a kitchen towel over it, and rubs the towel with both hands around and around on the stool, until the car falls onto the floor. Then she picks up the towel, waits for the appropriate reaction, then announces that the car disppeared onto the floor. Everyone gasps and stares in amazement and tries not to laugh.

That trick evolved into one of her current favorites in which she covers the item with the towel, rubs her hands together, then quickly picks up towel and the item at once, waits for the appropriate reaction, then announces that it disappeared into her hand.

If you're really lucky, Her Amazingness might select you to be an assistant. This is a special privilege that garners you with the great responsibility of holding the towel up in front of the item, then keeping watch over the rest of the audience to make sure they close their eyes tightly and don't peek while she makes the item disappear into the sofa cushions. Of course then the audience has the equally weighty responsibility of making believe they don't hear her footsteps going to or from the sofa, or the change of volume in her voice while she travels about the room.

It's all very entertaining and she rarely tires of performing, and I can only hope our guests don't tire of indulging her.

Along with this I must include an anecdote about the time last winter when Jensen attended a birthday party for a boy at Pre-Kindergarten. A local magician attended, who has apparently been a well-known Birthday Party Magician in this area for some time now. The kids gathered around, and Jensen, who had been doing her own "magic" for a couple of years by then, sat wide-eyed in the front row. She was aghast with her mouth open for most of the show, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

At one point this old and seasoned magician included an actual dove in his performance. I wasn't sure if Jensen, being such an animal lover, was more impressed with the magician or the dove. But after the intial excitement of seeing a real, live dove in the house, she watched attentively as the magician continued. He had a stand on which sat a box big enough for the dove, and then some. In front of the box hung a little curtain, and when he lifted it we got our first glance of the dove inside the entirely black box. He removed the dove, spoke to him a bit, showed him off to everyone, the kids oohed and aahed, and he placed the dove back into the box lowering the curtain. Then, while holding onto the back of the box with one hand, he raised the curtain with the other and the dove was gone! The children were amazed and burst into applause. Jensen was clapping along with the rest, and was so excited she couldn't control her laughter.

Then she turned to me with utter astonishment and exclaimed, "Mom! Did you see that?! You couldn't even tell how he got the dove to disappear behind the black wall!" Note that she had to say this quite loudly so as to be heard over the applause. She was not finished her exclamation, however, until the applause had subsided. An short but awkward silence followed, joined by looks from Birthday Boy's parents, and a chuckle from the magician who said, "I see we have another magician in the crowd." Jensen yelled proudly, "Me!" as she raised her hand. I just blushed and gritted my teeth praying that he'd move on. He did. I'm wondering if she'll be invited back this year.

Caricature of the Week

In light of Jennifer Aniston's "outing" in Vanity Fair this month, I thought I'd feature Don's caricature of the "Friends" gang. He drew this by special request. I won't mention who made the request. Ahem. Incidentally, if you have an idea for a caricature you'd like to see on a t-shirt, let Don know at www.caricaturesbydon.com.

Old Friends

I'd like to dedicate this post to the girlfriends I've had for as long as is important. These are the girls who knew me before I knew me, and who stuck with me anyway. These are the girls who saw through my lies and facade of my youth and hung with me anyway. These are the girls who believed in me at my most unbelievable, and forgave me at my most unforgivable. These are the girls with whom, when we get together, no matter how long it's been since we've spoken, emailed or met, it seems as if no time has passed. These are the girls whose longstanding friendships have helped shape who I am today. And I love them anyway!

In May we got together again to celebrate a big day--our Jilly Bean got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, a fabulous celebration and a wonderful weekend all around. I can't even describe what a time I had and what a feeling it left with me. Thanks to the girls and Jill's family for embracing me and including me in on a weekend I won't forget. So here's to Carri, Jill, Jocelyn and Heather. You guys are the best!

Love, Maria

Time it was and what a time it was it was;
A time of innocence a time of confidences.
Long ago it must be, I have a photograph.
Preserve your memories;
They’re all that’s left you.